Tag Archives: funny stuff

Photo Favorite: Llama in Royal Dress

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Popping over from La Aventura Project because I just HAVE to share this picture with you.  We found this llama in the parking lot outside Las Lajas Cathedral near the Colombia/Ecuador border.  I have no idea what his purpose was, other than to have his picture taken.  HUH-larious!

More on my strange obsession with trampolines…

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I accomplished one of my life-long dreams the other day. (Well, I’d dreamed about it ever since I learned of it’s existence.)  I WENT TO ONE OF THOSE HUGE TRAMPOLINE PLACES!!!!  It was amazing.  Trampolines all over the floor, up the walls (yes, you could literally jump OFF THE WALLS), even a trampoline dodgeball court (which I lasted about 2 seconds on).

The place we went is called Jump Street and it’s in Denver.  Every Tuesday and Thursday they have a special:  only $10 for 2 hours of jumping.  So we went with Zach’s cousin Michelle and a bunch of her friends.  It was super fun, but we felt super old.  All of us got so tired and kept having to take breaks.  It is really great cardio!  The next day we were all sooooo sore!  Despite my love for trampolines, I had actually never manned up enough to do an actual flip on one, even in all my years of gymnastics.  Everyone at Jump Street was flipping like crazy so I knew I had to try it by the end.  I am such a chicken!!!  (“Ka-ka-koo!  Ka-ka-koo!  Ka-ka-koo!”  If you get that I love you.)  It took me forever to actually just do it but then it was easy!  I didn’t land on my feet of course.  And the only one captured on video was the worst one I did.  But at least I did it.

So here you are, a horribly filmed and horribly edited montage of the only steady video we got on our little flip cam.  Don’t jump and film, people.  It doesn’t work.  This amuses me at least.

Childhood Myths

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…or, Lies My Mom and Grandma Told Me Which It Took Me Way Too Long to Realize ARE NOT TRUE

1. Bay leaves are poisonous.  OMG this is embarrassing.  But I just recently bought some bay leaves and was using one in some spaghetti sauce.  When I served it I told Zach to make sure to watch out for the bay leaf and not eat it.  He was like, “Why?”   “Because they’re poisonous,” I said.  He proceeded to laugh uproariously at me and ask, logically, “If they’re poisonous, why do you cook with them?????????”  Then he ate the bay leaf!!!  And HE DIDN’T DIE.

2. Hiccups mean you’re tired.  I don’t even know where this came from, but every time I got the hiccups as a child my mom would tell me I must be tired and should take a nap.  It wasn’t until a couple years ago, sitting at a bar with Bryan, Justine, and a cute hockey player I was supposed to get along with (this was before I met Zach) that I learned that this was not true.  How did I learn this?  By drinking a tall beer, getting the hiccups and then saying something incredibly dumb, like, “Oh, I guess I am kind of tired.”  Of course they were all like “What????” and laughed at me.

3. Bees can’t sting you if you’re swinging.  My sister and I were incredibly TERRIFIED of getting stung by bees when we were kids.  This, also, came from my mom, who passed her horrible fears along to us.  It was so bad that anytime we even saw a bee anywhere in the yard we would run inside, panicking.  Finally, one day, my grandma told us that if we saw a bee we should just “Stay still until it goes away, or go swing on your swing-set, because bees can’t sting you if you’re swinging.”  Oh Grandma, your distracting suggestion was taken as GOSPEL TRUTH and we believed for many, many years that there was some awesome bee-proof forcefield around our swing-set, and that as long as we were on it, THEY COULD NOT GET US.  From then on, anytime we saw a bee anywhere in the yard, we would CHARGE to the swings and start madly pumping as hard as we could.

Call me gullible, call me blonde, whatever.  The real question is this:  Why did you tell me these things Mom????  You don’t really believe them, do you???   (#3 I kind of understand.  It was a good distraction for us.  I don’t thing Grandma meant us to take it so seriously!)

What silly lies did your parents tell you when you were a kid?

I Have a Fantastic Mom

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(I meant to post this yesterday but by the time I got home from working a double the Internet was slow and so was my brain.  So Happy Late Mother’s Day!)

Reasons My Mom Is Awesome (A Short List)

1.  Cookies!!!  Growing up in my house there was NEVER a shortage of homemade baked goods.  I didn’t realize how lucky I was to ALWAYS have homemade chocolate chip cookies in my lunchbox until every kid always wanted to trade me their fruit roll-ups for my cookies at lunchtime.

2. My mom gave up her career in order to stay home and raise us.  I never had to go to preschool, day care, or a babysitter after school.   My mom was always there waiting for us to come home and out playing with us in parks all summer.  She sacrificed so much to be there for us!  I know being a stay-at-home-mom is one of the most demanding jobs in the world, and I’m so grateful that my mom was one!

3. Humor.  Our house was always full of silliness and jokes, mostly coming from my mom.  We laughed so much!!  Hiding dad’s desert, mimicking baby Tim, and telling silly kindergarden stories at snack time are all things I’ll never forget.  We definitely had a house full of laughts.

4. Music.  My mom instilled a love of music in me from an early age.  She always encouraged me to practice for my piano and then clarinet lessons.  We even played clarinet duets in church sometimes.  The love for music also extended to more laid-back activities such as dressing up and having disco dance parties all through the house.

5. Dusty.  It only took 13 years of begging to get my mom to relent to getting a puppy.  Granted, it was kind of a bribe to make us not be too sad about moving from Iowa to Ohio, but it was an AWESOME bribe.  I’ll always remember the day we went to Petland (I know, I know, horrible to get a puppy-mill puppy there, and I swear I will adopt in the future but I was only 13!) to “just look” and fell in love with a little fluffy white dustmop.  I could see my mom’s heart melting as she held her and she even thought of her name!  I know my mom does do most of the work for little Dusto nowadays and it makes me so happy that she got her for us and now loves a dog she never actually wanted.

6. Support.  My mom has always supported me in everything I’ve ever aimed to do, no matter how crazy or outside-the-box.  My mom was always at all my concerts and plays growing up.  My parents let me choose my own college and generously paid my tuition.  They supported me when I decided to study film, go to Kenya for a summer, and eventually join the Peace Corps.  Although I know she wishes I would settle down a bit, I am so thankful that my mom understands the allure of traveling and respects the volunteering work I have done.  I know she will always support me emotionally  and have my back in a crisis.  I’m so appreciative I have a mom who lets me follow my dreams.

I love you Mom!  Thanks for raising us with so much love and teaching us great values!!  I am so lucky!!!!!!

Easter/Gross Sensory Memories

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Zach and I started a new tradition today…an Easter picnic!  We drove down the mountain to Sedona after I got off work at 3 and had just enough time to find a nice trailhead, eat a delicious picnic dinner (deviled eggs mmmmm!!!), and go for a short hike among the red rocks.  It was peaceful and lovely.

On to the second half of the post title…we saw a jeep tour vehicle drive by and joked about the company name: “Arizona Safari Company.”  I was like, “Ha, I wonder how many animals they saw on their ‘safari’!”  A moment later the jeep zoomed past us and kicked up a ton of dust from the dirt road, flooding our car with it before I got the sunroof closed.

As soon as I felt the layer of dirt settle over the seats, my forehead, everything, I thought, “Wow, it kinda does feel like Africa now!”  I remembered something my friend Kristie said when we were in Kenya about how her boogers were black from the inside of her nose being constantly coated in dust.  I totally felt that way after that jeep gave us a dust-bath and it did bring me back to Africa in such a quick, sensory way.

So yeah, black boogers and a sweaty layer of dust on your face.  That’s the feeling.

Sometimes we make schematics about things in everyday life…

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…because as Dane Cook says, who doesn’t love working with schematics?

This is the one I came up with last night:

Zach added the points and descriptions.  And don’t worry, Zach has never cleaned a bathroom which means I have never contemplated killing babies.  The addition of points on the y-axis for our birthdays prompted me to ask, “Does this mean my birthday present is going to be you cleaning the house?  Cause that’s kind of just as bad as getting an electric toothbrush for your birthday.”

It’s pretty sad how true this is.  He’s trying to help more though, and I’m trying to be more patient.  I know this is a normal part of learning to live together.  I’m glad we can laugh about our disagreements.