Tag Archives: childhood

Childhood Myths

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…or, Lies My Mom and Grandma Told Me Which It Took Me Way Too Long to Realize ARE NOT TRUE

1. Bay leaves are poisonous.  OMG this is embarrassing.  But I just recently bought some bay leaves and was using one in some spaghetti sauce.  When I served it I told Zach to make sure to watch out for the bay leaf and not eat it.  He was like, “Why?”   “Because they’re poisonous,” I said.  He proceeded to laugh uproariously at me and ask, logically, “If they’re poisonous, why do you cook with them?????????”  Then he ate the bay leaf!!!  And HE DIDN’T DIE.

2. Hiccups mean you’re tired.  I don’t even know where this came from, but every time I got the hiccups as a child my mom would tell me I must be tired and should take a nap.  It wasn’t until a couple years ago, sitting at a bar with Bryan, Justine, and a cute hockey player I was supposed to get along with (this was before I met Zach) that I learned that this was not true.  How did I learn this?  By drinking a tall beer, getting the hiccups and then saying something incredibly dumb, like, “Oh, I guess I am kind of tired.”  Of course they were all like “What????” and laughed at me.

3. Bees can’t sting you if you’re swinging.  My sister and I were incredibly TERRIFIED of getting stung by bees when we were kids.  This, also, came from my mom, who passed her horrible fears along to us.  It was so bad that anytime we even saw a bee anywhere in the yard we would run inside, panicking.  Finally, one day, my grandma told us that if we saw a bee we should just “Stay still until it goes away, or go swing on your swing-set, because bees can’t sting you if you’re swinging.”  Oh Grandma, your distracting suggestion was taken as GOSPEL TRUTH and we believed for many, many years that there was some awesome bee-proof forcefield around our swing-set, and that as long as we were on it, THEY COULD NOT GET US.  From then on, anytime we saw a bee anywhere in the yard, we would CHARGE to the swings and start madly pumping as hard as we could.

Call me gullible, call me blonde, whatever.  The real question is this:  Why did you tell me these things Mom????  You don’t really believe them, do you???   (#3 I kind of understand.  It was a good distraction for us.  I don’t thing Grandma meant us to take it so seriously!)

What silly lies did your parents tell you when you were a kid?

I Have a Fantastic Mom

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(I meant to post this yesterday but by the time I got home from working a double the Internet was slow and so was my brain.  So Happy Late Mother’s Day!)

Reasons My Mom Is Awesome (A Short List)

1.  Cookies!!!  Growing up in my house there was NEVER a shortage of homemade baked goods.  I didn’t realize how lucky I was to ALWAYS have homemade chocolate chip cookies in my lunchbox until every kid always wanted to trade me their fruit roll-ups for my cookies at lunchtime.

2. My mom gave up her career in order to stay home and raise us.  I never had to go to preschool, day care, or a babysitter after school.   My mom was always there waiting for us to come home and out playing with us in parks all summer.  She sacrificed so much to be there for us!  I know being a stay-at-home-mom is one of the most demanding jobs in the world, and I’m so grateful that my mom was one!

3. Humor.  Our house was always full of silliness and jokes, mostly coming from my mom.  We laughed so much!!  Hiding dad’s desert, mimicking baby Tim, and telling silly kindergarden stories at snack time are all things I’ll never forget.  We definitely had a house full of laughts.

4. Music.  My mom instilled a love of music in me from an early age.  She always encouraged me to practice for my piano and then clarinet lessons.  We even played clarinet duets in church sometimes.  The love for music also extended to more laid-back activities such as dressing up and having disco dance parties all through the house.

5. Dusty.  It only took 13 years of begging to get my mom to relent to getting a puppy.  Granted, it was kind of a bribe to make us not be too sad about moving from Iowa to Ohio, but it was an AWESOME bribe.  I’ll always remember the day we went to Petland (I know, I know, horrible to get a puppy-mill puppy there, and I swear I will adopt in the future but I was only 13!) to “just look” and fell in love with a little fluffy white dustmop.  I could see my mom’s heart melting as she held her and she even thought of her name!  I know my mom does do most of the work for little Dusto nowadays and it makes me so happy that she got her for us and now loves a dog she never actually wanted.

6. Support.  My mom has always supported me in everything I’ve ever aimed to do, no matter how crazy or outside-the-box.  My mom was always at all my concerts and plays growing up.  My parents let me choose my own college and generously paid my tuition.  They supported me when I decided to study film, go to Kenya for a summer, and eventually join the Peace Corps.  Although I know she wishes I would settle down a bit, I am so thankful that my mom understands the allure of traveling and respects the volunteering work I have done.  I know she will always support me emotionally  and have my back in a crisis.  I’m so appreciative I have a mom who lets me follow my dreams.

I love you Mom!  Thanks for raising us with so much love and teaching us great values!!  I am so lucky!!!!!!

“Stupid Ways I Have Injured Myself in Life” or “Wow, I’m a Klutz, I Should Wear a Helmet”

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In honor of my possibly-broken finger which is making it hurt to type this, I decided to do a short but funny (I hope) Friday post!

1. Action: I went down a slide on my Dad’s lap when I was 3 or 4 and my foot got twisted between his leg and the side of the slide. 

Injury: It was probably not even sprained but I refused to walk for days afterwards and apparently my parents had to spank me to force me to stop crawling.  What can I say, I was a drama queen from a young age.

2. Action: As a tiny kid I sat on a slippery patio chair while wet from swimming, slid through the slats in the chair, and hit my eyebrow on something. 

Injury: I have a vague horrible memory of being held down in a doctors office while people bandaged my owie.

 3. Action: In kindergarten we went sledding on a small hill on my parents’ old Radio Flyers.  I went down by myself for the first time but neglected to realize I did not know how to steer!  The sled started veering left toward a metal fence, oh no!  I was too paralyzed by fear to roll off, so I slammed into the fence face first.

Injury: I lost my first tooth!  No, it hadn’t really been loose before that either.  But the Tooth Fairy still comes even if she wasn’t expecting it.

 4. Action: In elementary school I was playing in our kiddie pool and kicked the side really hard.  My big toe started hurting.  A couple days later in swim classes I jumped into the pool and landed on the same toe.

Injury: Broken toe.  This somehow was taken seriously enough for me to get to ride in a wheelchair in the ER.  Pimp!!!  They did nothing but buddy tape my toe to the next one and I decorated the tape with glued-on sequins.

 5. Action: Another time in elementary school I was riding my bike down the sidewalk going FAST, like I liked to.  All of a sudden some people came out of nowhere!  I had to swerve to avoid them and crashed into the sidewalk face first.

Injury:  Broken ends of my two front teeth, leading to much frustration in life as I had to get them capped and the caps tend to break off every few years or so, when I’m doing an extreme activity such as, say…eating.

 6. Action: Again sometime in elementary school, I was playing with our green Fisher Price tractor (remember those?).  I was pushing it around and it spun out of control and started rolling down a hill, at the end of which was a steep embankment.  I didn’t want it to fly off the embankment and break, so I did a flying dive to catch it, and jammed my finger into the ground.

Injury: The tractor survived the embankment.  Those things are tough.  I broke my finger and got buddy-taped again.

 7. Action:  Sometime in elementary school when I was way too big too be riding a tricycle, I thought it would be fun to STAND on the back of our little red tricycle, hold the handlebars, and go down the big hill on our street.  I careened down the bumpy sidewalk for a second before flying off into the grass and landing on my arm.

Injury: This is when my parents should have stopped taking me to the ER.  They always took me every time there was the slightest hint I might have broken something.  Of course my arm wasn’t broken.

 8. Action: When I was 10 or so I was doing jumps on the balance beam in my gymnastics class.  I was doing really well at landing them and got cocky as I neared the end of the beam.  I tried my jump a wee bit higher and lost my balance.  As I fell I slammed my chin into the metal support holding up the beam.

Injury:  Chin cut open from hitting so hard.  4 stitches and an attractive Band-Aid on my chin for a week.  It was ok.  All the cool kids had gotten stitches.  Oh, and they put padding on those supports after that.

 9. Action:  Also as a younger kid, my dad used to pick us up by one arm and one leg and swing us around in circles.  Woo, it was fun!  Until one time he was doing it and I felt my shoulder pop out of place.  A second later it popped back in.  It took him a second to put me down though because he mistook my screams of pain for screams of glee.  Eesh.

Injury: Thankfully it popped back in on its own but it definitely hurt for a couple days.

—If memory serves me correctly I took a bit of a break from being accident-prone in high school.  Probably because band and theater were my “sports”, lol.  But soon I was at it again… —

10. Action:  I was working at Chick-fil-a the summer after my high school graduation.  (Yes, I was a winner.)  I was literally CLOCKING OUT and stupidly playing with the swinging door next to the computer and of course I got my thumb caught in it.

Injury:  I thought it might be broken ’cause it hurt really bad.  I tried not to go to the ER but my parents made me.  As I knew by then, the action of going to the ER guaranteed it wasn’t broken.

 11. Action:  In college I was Assistant Directing on a super-stressful film shoot (made so by the completely disorganized Director and Producer) over 3 consecutive 12 hour days.  On our second day at 6am we were hurriedly setting up lights.  Some A-HOLE IDIOT apparently missed “Intro to Standing Things Up 101” and decided to set up a heavy metal lightstand without pulling out the tripod-legs.  How this lightstand EVER was standing upright in the first place is beyond me because it was not at all balanced or secured.  Of course I walked by it on one side as someone bumped it from the other side and it came crashing down with the top part knocking me directly in the side of the skull.

Injury: My head was bleeding and I think I was definitely disoriented on the ground for a couple seconds.  I’m pretty sure it was a mild concussion and it hurt pretty bad.  I basically sat around icing my head all day and drinking the wine coolers after they were done being used as props in a scene.  And instead of pushing him down a flight of stairs, I graciously hid my anger and even gave A-HOLE IDIOT a ride back to campus at the end of the day.  But I still hold a grudge in my mind.

 12. Action: Right before I left for Peace Corps I won a 2-week free gym trial.  I hadn’t been working out much before that but I started ellipticizing every day.  Although I wasn’t being excessive and I used elliptical machines all through college with no problems, all of a sudden both of my ankles got swollen and huge.

Injury: The swelling and pain lasted a few weeks, all through my staging, horribly long plane travel toTanzania, and the first few weeks in country.  I apparently managed to sprain both of them, according to the Peace Corps nurse.  Advil was the only way to deal with that in a country with no ice.

 13. Action: After returning from Peace Corps I went back to work at Mellow Mushroom.  One glorious evening someone spilled a bunch of ice in the back and the floor was slippery.  Of course I chose the moment I had a drink in each hand to slip on the floor, have my legs go out from under me, and totally bite it HARD onto my tailbone, drinks flying in the air and landing all over me.

Injury: I limped through the rest of my shift and my tailbone hurt for weeks…it may or may not have been broken.  I had no insurance at this point so no way I was going to the ER.  People kept telling me I needed to sit on a donut but I refused.  The best memory from this time period is one of Zach’s friends’ old alcoholic father who lived with him and looked like Santa asking me “Hey Carrie, how’s your ass?” every time he saw me for weeks.  He was like half dirty old man, half charming and genuinely concerned.

 14. Action: Snowboarding injuries in the past year.  These aren’t quite as stupid.  I just went too hard too fast when learning.

Injuries: A pulled oblique muscle which hurt for weeks and kept me up at night causing me pain when I rolled over.  And my “wrand” as I call it, a probably-sprained wrist from landing on it.

lucky you, i have a picture of my "wrand"!

15. Action: Last week I was in a rush leaving the house for work.  The garage door button wasn’t working so I hurriedly pulled it down manually.  In that process somehow my fingers ended up in one of the cracks and I epicly failed at pulling them out in time. 

Injury: My right ring fingertip is now twice the size of its counterpart and the nail is black and blue.  Again, it could be broken, but I don’t go to the ER for all my pointlessly stupid injuries anymore.

 Wow, this didn’t end up very short!  Now I must stop typing ‘cause my finger really hurts!  Hope you enjoyed my incredibly random list!