Category Archives: Humor

The Unity Sandwich

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Credit: Offbeat Bride

Today Offbeat Bride featured this hilarious and so-creative take on a wedding unity ceremony.  Click over to read it.  Seriously, how awesome is that?  This couple got the perfect blend of silly tongue-in-cheek creativity and making wedding  traditions their own.  I want our wedding to have this silliness to it too!

Appliances!!!!

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Know what’s awesome about having people close to you who are getting married?

Wedding registry hand-me-downs!

So far we have scored a coffee maker and a crockpot thanks to Zach’s brother and his fianceé receiving upgrades and duplicate gifts!  Keep the appliances coming, guys!

Sweatier’n’a sumo wrestler in a sauna!

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Allow me to rant for one moment.  Did you know it has been over 90 degrees every day for the past four days here, even getting up to 101 degrees at one point?  Holy bonkers, that is hot!  I thought I left Central America!  Apparently this week has been “historic” for high temperatures, as it has been all over the country pretty much.  Running has been pretty miserable as you can imagine.  But you know what the worst part is?  We don’t have A/C in the car, and I have a 20+ minute drive to work.  That’s 20 minutes of sweating before I arrive to serve tables.  I show up looking like I just ran a marathon.  It’s gross.  Also, I have been trying to get a third job, so showing up for interviews after driving in the heat has been a real barrel of fun.  I’ve had to start wearing different clothes in the car, then change, reapply powder and body spray in a nearby fast food place bathroom.  It’s awesome.

Plus, our electricity is not included in our rent, and neither of us has ever had a separate electric bill before.  We have no idea how much we can run the A/C without racking it up to $100 a month.  We’ve been trying to run it as little as possible, but we have to have it at night and a few times a day.  Not looking forward to that bill.

Oh, first world problems.  Well, poor people in the first world problems.  Most people who can afford it have A/C in their car, I think.

I think I need an intervention…

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Guys, I am officially OBSESSED with Pinterest.  And I only joined it about a month ago, because I gave into the idea that it is the new be-all and end-all of wedding inspiration.  It didn’t take long for the obsession to develop, once I realized how many absolutely splendiferous-sounding recipes I could find EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!  I am obsessed with food, trying new recipes, and looking at food porn.  So now I find myself, here in El Salvador, when I should be out exploring and hiking, sitting on my laptop PINNING!  I do think it’s a brilliant organizational tool.  But I had over 100 “Recipes to Try” before I realized that a board with over 100 pins was not very organized!  So now, on a Friday night in El Salvador, I am going through re-pinning all my recipe pins to new, sub-categorized boards.  I AM PINNING MY PINS, AHHHH!!!!!  WHEN DOES IT STOP????  Of course I realize that I will never actually try half these recipes, but I can’t pass up adding something that just looks so delicious!!!!

Zach just makes fun of me for it.  “What are you doing, babe?”  “Oh, I’m pinning shit.”  This is a normal conversation between us nowadays.  What was hilarious was a couple weeks ago in Panamá, when we saw a lady cutting out random magazine pictures of clothes and stuff and fixing them to an actual, real-life corkboard.  Zach said, “Look, she’s pinning shit!!!!”

So maybe it’s a universal obsession for women in all walks of life nowadays.  It’s an obsession I should probably get over but I’m not quite sure I want to.  Is anyone else as addicted as I am?  If so, add me on Pinterest!

Photo Favorite: Llama in Royal Dress

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Popping over from La Aventura Project because I just HAVE to share this picture with you.  We found this llama in the parking lot outside Las Lajas Cathedral near the Colombia/Ecuador border.  I have no idea what his purpose was, other than to have his picture taken.  HUH-larious!

I Can See!

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I recently received a Home-Try-On kit from the awesome eyewear company Warby Parker.  They’re a young, hip, new online glasses retailer doing some really innovative things.  They actually give away a pair of glasses for every pair you buy.  And they’ll send you 5 pairs to try on at home for 5 days.  After receiving my 5 pairs, I think I know which ones I like best, but I thought I’d throw it out there to the blogosphere too.  So away we go with some silly Photobooth pics to show you my options!

#1 "Sibley"

#2 "Nedwin"

#3 "Langston"

#4 "Thompson"

#5 "Pierce" Now we're getting silly.

And a bonus goofball shot. Fishy kisses in a fishtank.

So, which pair should I get?  I can only afford one, if that!  Cast your vote in the comments!

“Stupid Ways I Have Injured Myself in Life” or “Wow, I’m a Klutz, I Should Wear a Helmet”

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In honor of my possibly-broken finger which is making it hurt to type this, I decided to do a short but funny (I hope) Friday post!

1. Action: I went down a slide on my Dad’s lap when I was 3 or 4 and my foot got twisted between his leg and the side of the slide. 

Injury: It was probably not even sprained but I refused to walk for days afterwards and apparently my parents had to spank me to force me to stop crawling.  What can I say, I was a drama queen from a young age.

2. Action: As a tiny kid I sat on a slippery patio chair while wet from swimming, slid through the slats in the chair, and hit my eyebrow on something. 

Injury: I have a vague horrible memory of being held down in a doctors office while people bandaged my owie.

 3. Action: In kindergarten we went sledding on a small hill on my parents’ old Radio Flyers.  I went down by myself for the first time but neglected to realize I did not know how to steer!  The sled started veering left toward a metal fence, oh no!  I was too paralyzed by fear to roll off, so I slammed into the fence face first.

Injury: I lost my first tooth!  No, it hadn’t really been loose before that either.  But the Tooth Fairy still comes even if she wasn’t expecting it.

 4. Action: In elementary school I was playing in our kiddie pool and kicked the side really hard.  My big toe started hurting.  A couple days later in swim classes I jumped into the pool and landed on the same toe.

Injury: Broken toe.  This somehow was taken seriously enough for me to get to ride in a wheelchair in the ER.  Pimp!!!  They did nothing but buddy tape my toe to the next one and I decorated the tape with glued-on sequins.

 5. Action: Another time in elementary school I was riding my bike down the sidewalk going FAST, like I liked to.  All of a sudden some people came out of nowhere!  I had to swerve to avoid them and crashed into the sidewalk face first.

Injury:  Broken ends of my two front teeth, leading to much frustration in life as I had to get them capped and the caps tend to break off every few years or so, when I’m doing an extreme activity such as, say…eating.

 6. Action: Again sometime in elementary school, I was playing with our green Fisher Price tractor (remember those?).  I was pushing it around and it spun out of control and started rolling down a hill, at the end of which was a steep embankment.  I didn’t want it to fly off the embankment and break, so I did a flying dive to catch it, and jammed my finger into the ground.

Injury: The tractor survived the embankment.  Those things are tough.  I broke my finger and got buddy-taped again.

 7. Action:  Sometime in elementary school when I was way too big too be riding a tricycle, I thought it would be fun to STAND on the back of our little red tricycle, hold the handlebars, and go down the big hill on our street.  I careened down the bumpy sidewalk for a second before flying off into the grass and landing on my arm.

Injury: This is when my parents should have stopped taking me to the ER.  They always took me every time there was the slightest hint I might have broken something.  Of course my arm wasn’t broken.

 8. Action: When I was 10 or so I was doing jumps on the balance beam in my gymnastics class.  I was doing really well at landing them and got cocky as I neared the end of the beam.  I tried my jump a wee bit higher and lost my balance.  As I fell I slammed my chin into the metal support holding up the beam.

Injury:  Chin cut open from hitting so hard.  4 stitches and an attractive Band-Aid on my chin for a week.  It was ok.  All the cool kids had gotten stitches.  Oh, and they put padding on those supports after that.

 9. Action:  Also as a younger kid, my dad used to pick us up by one arm and one leg and swing us around in circles.  Woo, it was fun!  Until one time he was doing it and I felt my shoulder pop out of place.  A second later it popped back in.  It took him a second to put me down though because he mistook my screams of pain for screams of glee.  Eesh.

Injury: Thankfully it popped back in on its own but it definitely hurt for a couple days.

—If memory serves me correctly I took a bit of a break from being accident-prone in high school.  Probably because band and theater were my “sports”, lol.  But soon I was at it again… —

10. Action:  I was working at Chick-fil-a the summer after my high school graduation.  (Yes, I was a winner.)  I was literally CLOCKING OUT and stupidly playing with the swinging door next to the computer and of course I got my thumb caught in it.

Injury:  I thought it might be broken ’cause it hurt really bad.  I tried not to go to the ER but my parents made me.  As I knew by then, the action of going to the ER guaranteed it wasn’t broken.

 11. Action:  In college I was Assistant Directing on a super-stressful film shoot (made so by the completely disorganized Director and Producer) over 3 consecutive 12 hour days.  On our second day at 6am we were hurriedly setting up lights.  Some A-HOLE IDIOT apparently missed “Intro to Standing Things Up 101” and decided to set up a heavy metal lightstand without pulling out the tripod-legs.  How this lightstand EVER was standing upright in the first place is beyond me because it was not at all balanced or secured.  Of course I walked by it on one side as someone bumped it from the other side and it came crashing down with the top part knocking me directly in the side of the skull.

Injury: My head was bleeding and I think I was definitely disoriented on the ground for a couple seconds.  I’m pretty sure it was a mild concussion and it hurt pretty bad.  I basically sat around icing my head all day and drinking the wine coolers after they were done being used as props in a scene.  And instead of pushing him down a flight of stairs, I graciously hid my anger and even gave A-HOLE IDIOT a ride back to campus at the end of the day.  But I still hold a grudge in my mind.

 12. Action: Right before I left for Peace Corps I won a 2-week free gym trial.  I hadn’t been working out much before that but I started ellipticizing every day.  Although I wasn’t being excessive and I used elliptical machines all through college with no problems, all of a sudden both of my ankles got swollen and huge.

Injury: The swelling and pain lasted a few weeks, all through my staging, horribly long plane travel toTanzania, and the first few weeks in country.  I apparently managed to sprain both of them, according to the Peace Corps nurse.  Advil was the only way to deal with that in a country with no ice.

 13. Action: After returning from Peace Corps I went back to work at Mellow Mushroom.  One glorious evening someone spilled a bunch of ice in the back and the floor was slippery.  Of course I chose the moment I had a drink in each hand to slip on the floor, have my legs go out from under me, and totally bite it HARD onto my tailbone, drinks flying in the air and landing all over me.

Injury: I limped through the rest of my shift and my tailbone hurt for weeks…it may or may not have been broken.  I had no insurance at this point so no way I was going to the ER.  People kept telling me I needed to sit on a donut but I refused.  The best memory from this time period is one of Zach’s friends’ old alcoholic father who lived with him and looked like Santa asking me “Hey Carrie, how’s your ass?” every time he saw me for weeks.  He was like half dirty old man, half charming and genuinely concerned.

 14. Action: Snowboarding injuries in the past year.  These aren’t quite as stupid.  I just went too hard too fast when learning.

Injuries: A pulled oblique muscle which hurt for weeks and kept me up at night causing me pain when I rolled over.  And my “wrand” as I call it, a probably-sprained wrist from landing on it.

lucky you, i have a picture of my "wrand"!

15. Action: Last week I was in a rush leaving the house for work.  The garage door button wasn’t working so I hurriedly pulled it down manually.  In that process somehow my fingers ended up in one of the cracks and I epicly failed at pulling them out in time. 

Injury: My right ring fingertip is now twice the size of its counterpart and the nail is black and blue.  Again, it could be broken, but I don’t go to the ER for all my pointlessly stupid injuries anymore.

 Wow, this didn’t end up very short!  Now I must stop typing ‘cause my finger really hurts!  Hope you enjoyed my incredibly random list!