Ugly Duckling Syndrome

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Confession: Wedding planning has turned me into a way more superficial brat than I used to be.

There’s nothing like imagining walking down the aisle with all those eyes on me, plus getting professional photographs taken of myself, to make me worry like crazy about how I will look.

Yes, I know everyone says brides ALWAYS look beautiful.  I know I have dreadlocks so I won’t seem like a traditionally-styled bride no matter what, not that I want to.  But I still feel tons of pressure to look my best!  This pressure is mostly self-inflicted, and lately I’m just feeling like an ugly duckling!

Pardon the bitchfest for a moment, but my two main complaints are my weight and my skin.  In a way, the weight is the easy one.  Too many desserts and cervezas have taken their toll on my midsection, but if I really commit to healthier choices I know I can shed a few pounds by June.  I don’t want to be unrealistic and go on a torturous diet, just lose the beer belly and get more fit!  I know if I can pull it off I’ll feel much more confident on my wedding day!

My skin has always confused me.  First of all, my skin tone is very uneven, freckly, and red.  I blame the Irish in me.  I’ve tried several different makeup regimens over the years but I always end up looking shiny by the end of the day.  With an outdoor summer wedding, I’m really worried about looking like a sweaty beast in all the pictures!  Secondly, I have really dark under-eye circles.  No matter how much sleep I get or how little caffeine/alcohol I drink, they remain.  I’ve even tried this:

The concealers I’ve tried never really hide my circles as much as I’d like, and they too end up melting down my face after several hours.  I’m really worried about how I’m going to DIY my wedding makeup when I’m not even satisfied with my day-to-day look!  I’m terrified I won’t feel confident and I won’t like how I look in the photos.  I know these concerns are totally stupid and conceited, but I can’t help feeling stressed about the beauty aspects of the big day!

Has anyone else been infected with Ugly Duckling Syndrome while planning “the most important day of your life”?  Anyone have advice on longer-lasting makeup brands?

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4 responses »

  1. Love the blog! You and your guy remind me so much of me and my husband. We got married in a forest a year and a half ago– a total DIY-hippie-enchanted wedding. We then went on a 40 day roadtrip for our honeymoon all over the US and Canada. We even moved to CA after getting married!
    Anyway, I had the same fears about my body flaws for the wedding, and I wanted to tell you, now when I look back at it, I’m thinking that I was crazy for wasting one minute of my time worrying about that. You’re going to be so full of joy, radiating with beauty! I’m not photogenic, but my wedding pictures came out crazy awesome. I’m laughing and smiling and talking and eating, but somehow that bliss and excitement made me look great. You’re such a gorgeous woman! I hope you feel more confident soon!
    –R

    • Oh, look into make up primers for making it last longer. I know this is going to sound odd, but Monistat Chafing Cream is an amazing primer (look it up! I swear it!). This is what I used under my make up for my outdoor summer wedding. (I have oily skin, too!) It’s a lot cheaper than the official primers, but it works really well. Try anything out before the wedding, of course, to make sure you aren’t allergic or anything. Good luck!!

    • Raquel,
      Thank you for the wonderful reality check and compliment! I’m sure you are right about all of it!
      PS, I checked out your blog and your jewelry is amazing! Do you have an etsy shop?

      • Thanks so much! I do have one– if you search “SomatraJewelry” you’ll find it. Unfortunately, there’s only one item for sale for the time being. I plan to add more as the new year comes, so keep checking (if you’re interested). Good luck with all the wedding planning! I saved your blog so I’ll be around! -R

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