Productivity?? What????? I’m Gonna Go Cry…

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This is Why I’ll Never Be An Adult by Hyperbole and a Half is one of my favorite blog posts of all time, and it greatly describes how I’m feeling right now.

Ahhh!!!!  I AM OVERWHELMED!!!  Who knew that working full time and planning a year-long trip and fundraising to make a documentary and going to the gym everyday and continuing to keep the house in order and having a social life would be so much to do?

I am especially discouraged right now because I was trying so hard to break out of my usual “really-bad-at-delegating-just-do-everything-myself” ways, but I pretty much failed.  Turns out, not delegating doesn’t work, but delegating doesn’t work either!!!!!  At least not when the others involved are just as busy as you are and just flat out don’t care as much, because they’re not the ones who went to film school and whose infant career is depending on this project.  Which is understandable, but still, just leads me back to doing everything myself.

I ended up a big PMS-ey, bawling mess last night because I was just so stressed out and felt like I was carrying the whole world on my shoulders.  And Zach can’t understand because he’s just Mr. Super Laid Back, like “There’s no hurry; it’ll get done when it needs to!” And I’m screaming, “I know it doesn’t NEED to get done now but I WANT it done now and DON’T YOU WANT TO MAKE ME HAPPY?????”  Ahhhhhhhhhh CRAZYPSYCHOGIRLFRIEND unleashed!!!  So we are at the impasse we always reach: my Type-A Stressball tendencies vs. his procrastinate ’til the last minute/just have fun/don’t worry about it ways.  Which I love about him to some degree, but sometimes…honestly….I want to take a syringe and inject a shot of pure stress right into his rear.  At what pharmacy can I find that?

This is an emo post with no real solution.  I’m ranting.  For something real to read, look at the posts Zach wrote recently: one on his blog about our Courchsurfing story, the other on the La Aventura Project website about our Arizona adventures.  He doesn’t think he’s a good writer but he really is.  I love him.  I’m just frustrated by life right now.  The end.

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